And so... it was a day I left and went to Starbucks with a book, and cried out to God that I am just like anyone else and cannot hold it together any longer by trying to be a "good Christian wife." I know what the Bible says about divorce, but I see no other way. If there was a way I would follow it, but I only saw fog no matter how hard I tried. So in other words, I stopped trying. I had to for my sanity's sake. My best friend Melissa called just then and when I told her where I was and what I was contemplating, she and her husband Joe came to the coffee shop right away. We talked, and Joe prayed for me and Dan, begging me to not call it quits. I listened but did not hear. I went home, and agreed with God to keep going, just a bit longer. Then...
I went into the monitoring company who by now has changed to BI http://bi.com/ for my routine check in and was told some crazy news. Apparently the motion to reopen our case was denied back in February and even our lawyer kept it from us. All the while he tried all he could to turn the minds of the ones in charge because as he said - there was no reason for the denial, and it was one of those decisions people make according to their moods. And the guy in San Antonio who denied us apparently had a very bad day and for whatever reason stamped our case closed and done. Not in a good way. The agent assigned to my case placed an ankle monitor on me as she described the specifics about the green and red lights on it. I was in shock and could not believe what was happening but at the same time surprisingly calm and at peace. I was told my case was closed and I needed to go to Chicago and get my passport situation taken care of ASAP because I was in the process of being deported and had to leave the country in TWO weeks.
Driving home, I tried to let it all sink in but I was beaten down to the core by this time so I was immune to pain and felt nothing at all. Since we only had the van at this time, Dan was waiting on me to take him to a part time gig selling roofs he was attempting. He got in the car when I pulled into the garage and asked how my visit was, expecting to hear the usual. I lifted up the bottom of my pant leg and exposed the ankle monitor. I briefly told him what happened and that I had to leave the country in two weeks. I said it very matter-of-fact like, still in shock and tazed. He spoke sharply to me to stop the car and looked at me asking questions like - why are you taking me to work, and what are you doing? He said for us to go back into the house and do something about this. He said it did not end there. He took charge for the first time in a very long time. He said many things to me that day, but I knew nothing else mattered and he will fight for me. His job situation did not matter because in at least this - he still had it in him to fight for his princess. I felt loved again. I saw a glimpse in his eyes. I felt it in my bones coming straight from his heart. Even for just a moment. The eyes of my own heart were opened so that I saw Love, I knew I had hope and power, and the inheritance of victory in battle is mine.
I agreed with Dan that I would fight to stay with him. The easy way for me would have been to accept deportation and go willingly, and it would have made sense with our marriage situation. It would have been my "way out." There were moments I was tempted to look forward to being alone in a foreign land and have time to myself to get in shape and "find myself" and come back all chic like Sabrina. But when I looked at my knight in shining armor as I saw him this way for the first time since we first courted, I saw love and I could not turn away from love.
The warrior spirit returned to both of us. It was like we had something in common to fight for since fighting to survive financially was only dividing us and breaking us apart due to our differing views. We gave up fighting to keep our bodies fit and we lost the will to fight to make God "like" us. Just as we were, we offered ourselves to God and knew we could trust Him, that He has ordained all of this. Every circumstance won its battle against us but now the last battle for the win of the war was aimed at us directly. We mustered up any will to survive we had left and let go. There was much more we have not discovered yet. We became stronger together. The battle begun. I knew the road would be a lot harder but at the end of the day, I didn't want to end up singing "Rolling in the Deep."
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Year in Waiting
We got used to the routine and kept going forward. Jelena spent her time planning for her wedding, and I stayed home with the kids, home-schooling and spending time with them. Early of 2010, Jelena was called into the surveillance company's office and an ankle monitor was placed on her because she lacked a specific document she had no idea about. I do not recall all the reasoning behind it, like I said, I hope she writes her own experience to describe the parts I have missed. So as I remember, the wedding shower at Plaka Greek Cafe (a Greek restaurant in Georgetown my mom and step-dad, George, own) was conducted with the bride-to-be cuffed with an ankle monitor under her jeans! She wore that monitor for two weeks I believe until the documents were provided - she was told if she did not provide the document, she would be deported and thus the need for the ankle monitor. In March of 2010, Jelena and Steve married at Gateway church, the way my sister had dreamed of. We had a beautiful ceremony, our oldest daughter, Claudia sang and Isabel and Gabriel were flower girl and ring bearer. The ceremony was exciting and fun, and it took place at the old Grapevine Theater on Main Street. As my mom reconciled with her cousin in Fort Wayne, IN we had our only cousins at the wedding as well as our aunt from Serbia we have not seen in many years. It was magical and beautiful.
March was also mine and Daniel's 14th wedding anniversary. Although this time should have been grand and blissful, for Daniel and myself it was anything but that. All the immigration mess aside, we were struggling like never before in our marriage. It seemed we were alright on the outside like so many marriages these days, attending a thriving church regularly, volunteering and having our kids involved. We even took a trips to try to hold the family together. These were the good times that probably did serve to keep us together...
While he worked in Galveston with a friend, Kenny, doing some plumbing work after the hurricanes hit, I and the kiddos joined him and stayed to play on the beach. Although we ate the Sam's Club mega boxes of mac and cheese EVERY day, his mom bought us before we left, it was a blessed opportunity for us to have fun and be together, enjoying life with our kids. We got a Route 44 Cherry Limeaid everyday between 2 and 4pm to share, and stepped on crabs at night as we walked on the beach. One week we saved enough and shared a dinner out and played miniature golf - even if just the kids played, after watching the volcano show across the street in front of Rainforest Cafe. During the holidays of 2009, we even took a trip to Branson, MO. What many did not know, we made that trip on like $300 (my mom gave us) for 5 days. It was a time share deal I had purchased before he got laid off, and we did not see any shows either; just went sight-seeing and had money for food and gas. But it was a fun family time nonetheless and we all enjoyed it very much! Especially running in our bathing suits in the freezing cold to the pool across the parking lot!
As much as we tried to make the best of things, we were not superhuman and the effects of our situations caught up to us no matter how hard we tried to suppress them. We had to get everything worked out and in the open but the fiery darts against us all happened at once. We were bombarded from every angle in our marriage while still wounded from the immigration trials.
Dan had fallen into despair after losing his job of 13 years, and after all the doors to ministry opportunities closed, he closed up and was unreachable. I could not work and begged him - and nagged of course - everyday, to get a second job or a better paying one. We had gotten into so much debt while he was looking for work and was unemployed, that this very low-paying job would in no way get us back on our feet. (very low-paying government job while he worked as an officer in a jail). I thought of how my mom worked two jobs without knowing the language well and not being documented and wished Dan had at least half that zeal for his family. I know some say that "undocumented illegals" take the jobs from Americans - but I have witnessed firsthand this to be untrue. For example, my mom accepted any job and worked as a grocery store bagger, envelope stuffer and metal sorter. She was happy to have a job and although she worked 70+ hours a week for very little money, she worked to provide as best she knew how. Our family never applied for any form of government assistance nor did my mom sue for child support. Dan was a capable middle-aged man who knew English well, is very intelligent and resourceful, capable of doing any job with perfection from management and audio engineering to cooking, plumbing and craftsmanship. But accepting a job at a retail store or Micky D's was out of the question, and like the cousin in Christmas Vacation, Eddie - he was "waiting for a management position". I think it's because we hold a certain pride in the US and have been conditioned to stay in our field, or not accept less b/c it will hurt our resume, and even legit hopes of achieving our dreams and working for ourselves get in the way of buckling down and doing whatever to get by. I know Dan went through a very rough time with no mentors alongside him, and I know he had no idea what to do and it was scary for him. He lost hope, became depressed, and resorted to sending resumes while expecting no one to respond - and no one did. There was no real effort and it seemed me and the kids were not worth fighting for. It seemed he has given up on us and even though our home was in foreclosure stages, he sat back expecting a miracle to drop from the sky... I at least wanted him to take this opportunity and take some college courses, but that did not work out either. I guess no matter how hard you try, you cannot change someone or "make" them do what you think they should. I was so humbled during this time, like never before. To be in such a weak spot in your lief that you have to accept food from other sources other than from the work of your hands is very degrading. I did not like the way I acted towards Dan, and came to the conclusion that he did not love me anymore. And this lie made me sad and I started to believe I did not want to be with someone who did not love me. Separation? That was the answer to wake Dan up, I thought. I wanted the movie and fairy tale - for him to fight for me and his family, try hard and give all he has like a knight in shining armor coming to our rescue. But then there was that promise of "for better or for worse." I thought I would go crazy and I know Dan was at the end of his rope too.
But instead, I became the nagging wife who is never satisfied and he the absent father who could not provide. We were very unhappy with each other and resorted to eating junk food and becoming as lazy as possible. I wanted to be the typical stay at home wife at the suburbia churches and was embarrassed to accept money from friends, gift cards from our church and even food. I was prideful, had an issue receiving help, and Dan was tired of me complaining.
We took financial classes and Dan started joining groups in which other unemployed individuals also looked for work. We tried marriage help at church and read books about it. We went to counseling and marriage classes. We were tried and tested in every way, even in ways of immorality I won't mention here. We were blessed by an awesome couple Gay and Russell from church to be given an opportunity to complete three weekends of an incredible conference called Discovery, through which we got rid of many demons in our lives. It was like freedom ministry on steroids. We attended a freedom conference called Kairos at our church. We picked ourselves up and dragged us bleeding and bruised, crawling up to each of these events. But each event was a very helpful reminder of God's love and a timely push to persevere.
In the midst of this, Dan began developing a heart murmur and we had to go to many hospitals and emergency rooms to try to figure out what in the world was going on. We got deeper and deeper in debt with added medical bills. I was so mad at him that I could not even be symphatetic as he wanted me to be and as I wanted myself to care. Dan was fearful of the worst, and I wished it were me. Immigration did not matter anymore and I started to wish they would just come and take me away. I was at the end of my rope myself and I just hope we hid it from our kids well enough. I know we hid it pretty well from everyone else.
To recap this year, it started with severe financial difficulty, major debt, then a low-paying job, heart problems for Dan including many hospital and ER visits, marital strife for the both of us and talks of separation, we got fat again, our home on the verge of being taken from us and all savings and 401K spent. We were exhausted in the area of ministry, felt the sifting like crazy and wanted out. BOTH of our cars died - like engines blew up and everything - and we had to borrow money from Dan's parents in order to get a used van. (1997 used). I felt like a failure in homeschooling my kids and I cried daily while feeling like I was a "bad mother." I was anything but a supportive wife and Dan was not a provider and leader we both know he can be. Hopelessness was the buzz word we were tempted with. It was the hardest year of our lives and one we thought we would never recover from.
March was also mine and Daniel's 14th wedding anniversary. Although this time should have been grand and blissful, for Daniel and myself it was anything but that. All the immigration mess aside, we were struggling like never before in our marriage. It seemed we were alright on the outside like so many marriages these days, attending a thriving church regularly, volunteering and having our kids involved. We even took a trips to try to hold the family together. These were the good times that probably did serve to keep us together...
While he worked in Galveston with a friend, Kenny, doing some plumbing work after the hurricanes hit, I and the kiddos joined him and stayed to play on the beach. Although we ate the Sam's Club mega boxes of mac and cheese EVERY day, his mom bought us before we left, it was a blessed opportunity for us to have fun and be together, enjoying life with our kids. We got a Route 44 Cherry Limeaid everyday between 2 and 4pm to share, and stepped on crabs at night as we walked on the beach. One week we saved enough and shared a dinner out and played miniature golf - even if just the kids played, after watching the volcano show across the street in front of Rainforest Cafe. During the holidays of 2009, we even took a trip to Branson, MO. What many did not know, we made that trip on like $300 (my mom gave us) for 5 days. It was a time share deal I had purchased before he got laid off, and we did not see any shows either; just went sight-seeing and had money for food and gas. But it was a fun family time nonetheless and we all enjoyed it very much! Especially running in our bathing suits in the freezing cold to the pool across the parking lot!
As much as we tried to make the best of things, we were not superhuman and the effects of our situations caught up to us no matter how hard we tried to suppress them. We had to get everything worked out and in the open but the fiery darts against us all happened at once. We were bombarded from every angle in our marriage while still wounded from the immigration trials.
Dan had fallen into despair after losing his job of 13 years, and after all the doors to ministry opportunities closed, he closed up and was unreachable. I could not work and begged him - and nagged of course - everyday, to get a second job or a better paying one. We had gotten into so much debt while he was looking for work and was unemployed, that this very low-paying job would in no way get us back on our feet. (very low-paying government job while he worked as an officer in a jail). I thought of how my mom worked two jobs without knowing the language well and not being documented and wished Dan had at least half that zeal for his family. I know some say that "undocumented illegals" take the jobs from Americans - but I have witnessed firsthand this to be untrue. For example, my mom accepted any job and worked as a grocery store bagger, envelope stuffer and metal sorter. She was happy to have a job and although she worked 70+ hours a week for very little money, she worked to provide as best she knew how. Our family never applied for any form of government assistance nor did my mom sue for child support. Dan was a capable middle-aged man who knew English well, is very intelligent and resourceful, capable of doing any job with perfection from management and audio engineering to cooking, plumbing and craftsmanship. But accepting a job at a retail store or Micky D's was out of the question, and like the cousin in Christmas Vacation, Eddie - he was "waiting for a management position". I think it's because we hold a certain pride in the US and have been conditioned to stay in our field, or not accept less b/c it will hurt our resume, and even legit hopes of achieving our dreams and working for ourselves get in the way of buckling down and doing whatever to get by. I know Dan went through a very rough time with no mentors alongside him, and I know he had no idea what to do and it was scary for him. He lost hope, became depressed, and resorted to sending resumes while expecting no one to respond - and no one did. There was no real effort and it seemed me and the kids were not worth fighting for. It seemed he has given up on us and even though our home was in foreclosure stages, he sat back expecting a miracle to drop from the sky... I at least wanted him to take this opportunity and take some college courses, but that did not work out either. I guess no matter how hard you try, you cannot change someone or "make" them do what you think they should. I was so humbled during this time, like never before. To be in such a weak spot in your lief that you have to accept food from other sources other than from the work of your hands is very degrading. I did not like the way I acted towards Dan, and came to the conclusion that he did not love me anymore. And this lie made me sad and I started to believe I did not want to be with someone who did not love me. Separation? That was the answer to wake Dan up, I thought. I wanted the movie and fairy tale - for him to fight for me and his family, try hard and give all he has like a knight in shining armor coming to our rescue. But then there was that promise of "for better or for worse." I thought I would go crazy and I know Dan was at the end of his rope too.
But instead, I became the nagging wife who is never satisfied and he the absent father who could not provide. We were very unhappy with each other and resorted to eating junk food and becoming as lazy as possible. I wanted to be the typical stay at home wife at the suburbia churches and was embarrassed to accept money from friends, gift cards from our church and even food. I was prideful, had an issue receiving help, and Dan was tired of me complaining.
We took financial classes and Dan started joining groups in which other unemployed individuals also looked for work. We tried marriage help at church and read books about it. We went to counseling and marriage classes. We were tried and tested in every way, even in ways of immorality I won't mention here. We were blessed by an awesome couple Gay and Russell from church to be given an opportunity to complete three weekends of an incredible conference called Discovery, through which we got rid of many demons in our lives. It was like freedom ministry on steroids. We attended a freedom conference called Kairos at our church. We picked ourselves up and dragged us bleeding and bruised, crawling up to each of these events. But each event was a very helpful reminder of God's love and a timely push to persevere.
In the midst of this, Dan began developing a heart murmur and we had to go to many hospitals and emergency rooms to try to figure out what in the world was going on. We got deeper and deeper in debt with added medical bills. I was so mad at him that I could not even be symphatetic as he wanted me to be and as I wanted myself to care. Dan was fearful of the worst, and I wished it were me. Immigration did not matter anymore and I started to wish they would just come and take me away. I was at the end of my rope myself and I just hope we hid it from our kids well enough. I know we hid it pretty well from everyone else.
To recap this year, it started with severe financial difficulty, major debt, then a low-paying job, heart problems for Dan including many hospital and ER visits, marital strife for the both of us and talks of separation, we got fat again, our home on the verge of being taken from us and all savings and 401K spent. We were exhausted in the area of ministry, felt the sifting like crazy and wanted out. BOTH of our cars died - like engines blew up and everything - and we had to borrow money from Dan's parents in order to get a used van. (1997 used). I felt like a failure in homeschooling my kids and I cried daily while feeling like I was a "bad mother." I was anything but a supportive wife and Dan was not a provider and leader we both know he can be. Hopelessness was the buzz word we were tempted with. It was the hardest year of our lives and one we thought we would never recover from.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Another Journey Begins...
While my sister was donning an orange jumpsuit and waiting for her cash we sent in so she can buy extra items like a toothbrush and ice cream, freezing in the cell with other women with even more horrific stories from all over the world who have been at the Haskell prison for months and months - I was being summoned to the ICE office myself. Dan came with me, but was not allowed in, so he waited for me outside for what seemed to be an eternity. As I walked in the back to meet with the officers, it seemed I was taken to a movie set back in the 80's of a police office. The way everyone spoke and talked was saddening, and I just sat back taking it all in and wondering how these officers could find peace and a positive outlook on life. I'm sure that after dealing with criminals like the few I witnessed behind me who were smuggling people in from Mexico and obviously lying about their identity, the officers become tainted and lose feeling. I don't know, but there is definitely a need to help those in our public offices. Greater pay and benefits for example? If police officers, fire fighters, teachers, and many other government employees especially in the military branches who work with people to raise up and protect people got paid half as much as IT professionals who raise up and protect computers, maybe things would be different. I suppose being satisfied in life helps to be more loving towards humanity and treating people with respect. The old adage that you treat others the way you would want to be treated should stand for those you do not respect, know, and even your enemies. Treating criminals "like criminals" only makes them want to become greater criminals. We are creating this world around us. I'm not saying that the punishment does not fit the crime, and I even support the death penalty in some cases. But the road to it needs to be paved with respectable and decent people in charge, professionals who convey truth in ways that make even criminals on their way to the electric chair feel remorse for their actions. Although it may not help their circumstances, the power of Love can absolutely change their eternal destination.
Anyway, I told them my story and filled out paperwork, stamped my fingers and all that jazz. I asked them to talk to my lawyer so he can let them know we were underway of getting this taken care of, but they were fed up with speaking with lawyers, I think. I received some paperwork that were to be known as "my papers" from that day on, and I was to carry them with me wherever I went. The paperwork included my rights, picture, fingerprints, etc. I was placed on a monitoring system, through which I had to call weekly on a voice recognition program and report to the office on a regular basis as well. I began to receive home visits so that they were sure I would not leave. Now, we have been in the same house for 13 years, and I was not a threat. I think although this was necessary protocol, it was a waste of taxpayers money - taxpayers, which included us. The company that was outsourced to take care of "watching us" was G4S (Group 4 Securicor http://www.g4s.com/) and it reminded me of the Bourne Identity movies when I looked them up, although the US Dallas division lacked this cool and sophisticated style . I really had no idea how serious this was, and honestly, had blocked it out of my mind so I don't know. I didn't want to think of myself as a criminal, and hated the concept. I wished I had been strong enough to face my fears and tell Dan back then and file to get my paperwork situated when I was first old enough to do it. I had been so scared to take this on, so I hid it well. I craved to be a normal US citizen and dreamed of being born here. But now - I felt weaker than ever, and filled with regret.
My sister stayed in Haskell for almost a month. My mom came to stay with us for a week and help translate all of the departure paperwork needed - which was actually deportation proceedings. For some reason ICE gave us this paperwork in original Serbian Cyrillic which even mom could hardly depict. Steve was flipping out and very nervous, as he was jobless and without his future wife in a short week.We prayed and prayed and trusted that God had a bigger plan than what we could see and know. One good thing that happened was that my mom's cousin who she had spoken to since we have been in the States, came to visit during this time and help and support us. It was a very wonderful reunion with Gordanana (as my son Gabriel called her)! My sister called when allowed but the trembling and fear in her voice made us even more aware of how proactive we had to be and how urgent our prompt cooperation. The women in my sister's cell did not have the support system she did, to help give them hope of being released to their families anytime soon. One woman was taken from her newborn baby and one while on her way back to her country of origin. I cannot help but think there has to be a better way to document people who want to be here and become Americans one day and set them apart from those who have come to abuse the system, commit crime, with no loyalty or dedication to this great land.
Because of much help from our friends and family, who contacted politicians on our behalf, Jelena was released. It could have been the "temp" lawyer's help who was working on her behalf for this short time, but we do not think so. Nevertheless, our lives returned to normal with a few minor adjustments. We both were placed on the surveillance system as I described before, and this became a part of life for us. We checked in to the ICE office whenever scheduled, as well as making our appointments with G4S. Meanwhile, our lawyer was working hard to create a possibility as with our mom, and obtain permanent residency for us. Since Jelena and Steve had planned a wedding in June, with this major upset, the plans were changed. Our lawyer told them they had to get married as soon as possible so he can continue to work on her behalf and have hopes of it turning positive. The good news was that Jelena was released from Haskell and did not have to get married in an orange jumpsuit. Pastor John Spurling took time out of his busy schedule, on his son's birthday even, to marry my sister and Steve at the Southlake Town-Center, not long after she was released from prison. His commitment to help people and love for others was an amazing example of God's kindness. At the Men's Conference called the Alpha Summit, Dan and Steve went to during this time, the confirmation set, and we began to attend Gateway Church.
Things slowed down, and life went on. Jelena and Steve moved their wedding date at the church, because she still wanted a ceremony, a chance to wear her dress and use the decorations she had already bought. The small ceremony in the gazebo in May included only us and our mom and George. We thought about going ninety miles an hour and keeping the date to June and making it happen, but I think my sister was just exhausted and a wedding ceremony did not have the wondrous appeal as it once did. It was a very weird time in our lives, filled with trials and tests of every kind.
I remember going to see another lawyer in Dallas, Mr. Gary Davis. He met us immediately and was a lot easier to understand than our lawyer, as he is younger and spoke in terms we understood. He explained the entire situation to us, and encouraged us, gave us advice and provided answers to all of our questions. In the end, he never charged us and we are so grateful for his time and effort. We were so amazed by this man after all of our experiences in the past with lawyers who only demand money - there are still a few good men. I would definitely recommend Gary Davis for any immigration needs for anyone in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and of course G. Wellington Smith in the Austin area.
She stayed at home for the next year planning her wedding as best as she could and I continued home-schooling our kids, and volunteering at church. My husband soon got a permanent job at the Denton County Jail as an officer, and Steve received a new job soon as well, much better than the previous one. Dan still went on his mission trip to Africa, in the fall, even though he was reluctant in doing so, in fears of leaving us for a few weeks. But we had peace about it and knew it was time for him to go and fulfill a prophecy spoken over him some years ago. In the midst of our financial drama, we managed to raise the money with many friends and family members chipping in, including help from our church. We received a lot of support as I knew it was meant to happen. I wish I could have been there with the Kidstand team, but it was not time for me to be loosed out into to the world yet.
We were adjusting to life once again, and soon put all of the craziness behind us, as we planned to receive our green cards within two years. Of course, we put it behind us only as much as we could, because the weekly check-ins, phonecalls, or trips to the ICE office kept us humbled as fugitives in a foreign land. But we kept this stuff to ourselves, and after thanking everyone who supported us on Facebook and so on, we thought we would never have to revisit this mess again. We were just going through required protocol until our lawyer finishes up our case. Even though he thought the reporting and check in's were a bit much, he advised us to comply with everything and just go through it.
Anyway, I told them my story and filled out paperwork, stamped my fingers and all that jazz. I asked them to talk to my lawyer so he can let them know we were underway of getting this taken care of, but they were fed up with speaking with lawyers, I think. I received some paperwork that were to be known as "my papers" from that day on, and I was to carry them with me wherever I went. The paperwork included my rights, picture, fingerprints, etc. I was placed on a monitoring system, through which I had to call weekly on a voice recognition program and report to the office on a regular basis as well. I began to receive home visits so that they were sure I would not leave. Now, we have been in the same house for 13 years, and I was not a threat. I think although this was necessary protocol, it was a waste of taxpayers money - taxpayers, which included us. The company that was outsourced to take care of "watching us" was G4S (Group 4 Securicor http://www.g4s.com/) and it reminded me of the Bourne Identity movies when I looked them up, although the US Dallas division lacked this cool and sophisticated style . I really had no idea how serious this was, and honestly, had blocked it out of my mind so I don't know. I didn't want to think of myself as a criminal, and hated the concept. I wished I had been strong enough to face my fears and tell Dan back then and file to get my paperwork situated when I was first old enough to do it. I had been so scared to take this on, so I hid it well. I craved to be a normal US citizen and dreamed of being born here. But now - I felt weaker than ever, and filled with regret.
My sister stayed in Haskell for almost a month. My mom came to stay with us for a week and help translate all of the departure paperwork needed - which was actually deportation proceedings. For some reason ICE gave us this paperwork in original Serbian Cyrillic which even mom could hardly depict. Steve was flipping out and very nervous, as he was jobless and without his future wife in a short week.We prayed and prayed and trusted that God had a bigger plan than what we could see and know. One good thing that happened was that my mom's cousin who she had spoken to since we have been in the States, came to visit during this time and help and support us. It was a very wonderful reunion with Gordanana (as my son Gabriel called her)! My sister called when allowed but the trembling and fear in her voice made us even more aware of how proactive we had to be and how urgent our prompt cooperation. The women in my sister's cell did not have the support system she did, to help give them hope of being released to their families anytime soon. One woman was taken from her newborn baby and one while on her way back to her country of origin. I cannot help but think there has to be a better way to document people who want to be here and become Americans one day and set them apart from those who have come to abuse the system, commit crime, with no loyalty or dedication to this great land.
Because of much help from our friends and family, who contacted politicians on our behalf, Jelena was released. It could have been the "temp" lawyer's help who was working on her behalf for this short time, but we do not think so. Nevertheless, our lives returned to normal with a few minor adjustments. We both were placed on the surveillance system as I described before, and this became a part of life for us. We checked in to the ICE office whenever scheduled, as well as making our appointments with G4S. Meanwhile, our lawyer was working hard to create a possibility as with our mom, and obtain permanent residency for us. Since Jelena and Steve had planned a wedding in June, with this major upset, the plans were changed. Our lawyer told them they had to get married as soon as possible so he can continue to work on her behalf and have hopes of it turning positive. The good news was that Jelena was released from Haskell and did not have to get married in an orange jumpsuit. Pastor John Spurling took time out of his busy schedule, on his son's birthday even, to marry my sister and Steve at the Southlake Town-Center, not long after she was released from prison. His commitment to help people and love for others was an amazing example of God's kindness. At the Men's Conference called the Alpha Summit, Dan and Steve went to during this time, the confirmation set, and we began to attend Gateway Church.
Things slowed down, and life went on. Jelena and Steve moved their wedding date at the church, because she still wanted a ceremony, a chance to wear her dress and use the decorations she had already bought. The small ceremony in the gazebo in May included only us and our mom and George. We thought about going ninety miles an hour and keeping the date to June and making it happen, but I think my sister was just exhausted and a wedding ceremony did not have the wondrous appeal as it once did. It was a very weird time in our lives, filled with trials and tests of every kind.
I remember going to see another lawyer in Dallas, Mr. Gary Davis. He met us immediately and was a lot easier to understand than our lawyer, as he is younger and spoke in terms we understood. He explained the entire situation to us, and encouraged us, gave us advice and provided answers to all of our questions. In the end, he never charged us and we are so grateful for his time and effort. We were so amazed by this man after all of our experiences in the past with lawyers who only demand money - there are still a few good men. I would definitely recommend Gary Davis for any immigration needs for anyone in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and of course G. Wellington Smith in the Austin area.
She stayed at home for the next year planning her wedding as best as she could and I continued home-schooling our kids, and volunteering at church. My husband soon got a permanent job at the Denton County Jail as an officer, and Steve received a new job soon as well, much better than the previous one. Dan still went on his mission trip to Africa, in the fall, even though he was reluctant in doing so, in fears of leaving us for a few weeks. But we had peace about it and knew it was time for him to go and fulfill a prophecy spoken over him some years ago. In the midst of our financial drama, we managed to raise the money with many friends and family members chipping in, including help from our church. We received a lot of support as I knew it was meant to happen. I wish I could have been there with the Kidstand team, but it was not time for me to be loosed out into to the world yet.
We were adjusting to life once again, and soon put all of the craziness behind us, as we planned to receive our green cards within two years. Of course, we put it behind us only as much as we could, because the weekly check-ins, phonecalls, or trips to the ICE office kept us humbled as fugitives in a foreign land. But we kept this stuff to ourselves, and after thanking everyone who supported us on Facebook and so on, we thought we would never have to revisit this mess again. We were just going through required protocol until our lawyer finishes up our case. Even though he thought the reporting and check in's were a bit much, he advised us to comply with everything and just go through it.
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