And so it came to pass... my mom got her Green Card! It was so amazing and we were so thankful! To share some of her story as best as I can:
After exhausting as many lawyer offices as she could find only to be told there is no way your case will be heard in court, or to be asked to pay an astronomical amount of money, my mom gave up searching for ways to get her green card. But as in all good stories, a man came along and they fell in love. George wanted to make sure my mom received her green card and they began searching for lawyers again, but this time my mom had more hope. This added hope did not last long as George and my mom were also told time after time from countless lawyers in the Austin area that her case is too complicated and they could not work on it. There were again a few lawyers who wanted a large sum of money up front with little indication they would actually get anything accomplished. George and my mom faced defeat but then George remembered a pen. Yes - a pen.
An immigration lawyer had come by his restaurant some time earlier and he left behind a pen which George had picked up. George called the number on this pen and what do you know - Mr. G. Wellington Smith said her case may be difficult but not impossible and he would take it on, without ever asking for any money up front. That was a huge break!
Within two years of Mr. Smith working with my mom, she received her green card. There was a lot of paperwork involved and meetings too, the usual, but she and George completed it all on time, and followed through. We celebrated at Cheesecake Factory, took pictures, and had fun with it. My mom's card actually came in the mail as a new driver's license, a very non-climactic end to her story.
Following, Dan and I decided to begin working with Mr. Smith in order for me to get the green card as well. We used a portion of our income tax return to begin this process in 2008 and my mom and George paid the rest of the fees. Without their help, we could not have done it. Dan and I were facing the hardest time of our lives financially. I was at home with the kids, and Dan out of work since he had undergone a company-wide layoff in 2008. Our life had begun to change and we began to experience some extremely serious marital strife because of finances or lack thereof.
My sister Jelena, and her fiance, Steven, would begin work on hers as soon after they got married in 2009. My sister was smart and told him about it from the get-go. Jelena had a good job, Steven was doing well for himself as well, and their future seemed very promising. They were anticipating marriage and children.
Overall, everything seemed as it were falling into place as far as immigration was concerned, so we went about life as usual, having to make an occasional copy and fax, fill out forms and send photos and such.
Showing posts with label american life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label american life. Show all posts
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Married Life in the US
As I grew up as American as possible, I learned how to live and get by with who I was. My parent's separated, then divorced, which fit the profile of most of my friends. I got a job early and started paying for the things I wanted. I had lots of boyfriends and adapted to the party lifestyle early on. The best thing that happened was that I met my husband. At none other than K-Mart, Daniel and I sparked a connection and bond I have never witnessed with any other couple. We are truly soul mates.
In 1990 we began dating, and have not stopped since. Daniel loved me most yet cared the least about my immigration status. I felt safe around him and knew he would protect me. He and his family are so proud to be Americans that I never had the nerve to share my history with them. They thought I was legal since I had a social security number, driver's license, and did everything according to the rules. I just never pursued my residency. I never even told Dan before we got married. I was so done with it all and wanted to forget about it and go on with my life.
The last time I spent a day at the immigration office was in the nineties sometime. My mom took my sister and I and we went to see if we could somehow reopen our case and get somewhere. Until now, my dad has fought on his own and been denied over and over that at best we were granted work authorization cards. He never took a lawyer, and trying to accomplish anything concerning immigration without legal council is almost impossible. While in the San Antonio office that day, an officer told me that the only way for me to stay here is to get my husband to petition for me. My case would be separated from my family and I would face the new challenges on my own (with Daniel really, but I was embarrassed to tell him). I was scared to tell Dan and get him involved in all of this mess and at the same time worried what would happen to my family. It seemed like I would get to stay but they would get deported, and I figured we are all in this together. Plus, I was lazy to work on my status and angry at my parents who did not finish it for us. I felt like it was not my responsibility and wanted to wait it out to see what happens, to make them somehow pay for bringing us here like this. Much resentment and anger towards our parents fueled my attitude of indifference.
The officer told us that day to just live as we have been living, and go on with life as we have. So, with nothing solved and not being any further to a resolve, the three Mitic ladies left the San Antonio office that day hopeless. There was such a stronghold on me involving anyone else and our immigration "secret." I had to protect us by not telling anyone about our situation, that it was like Gollum's "my precious." A dark, dark secret - except - when I look back now after having daughters of my own as my sis and I were, - I just want to hold me. This secret was shame, resentment, insecurity, and all the nasty things we place on ourselves when most circumstances were far beyond our control. I see this now a lot with women who have been abused as children, teens, or even adults. They hold a secret and have shame for something someone else did and created in their lives. I felt if I told anyone (EVEN my own husband who I know loves me beyond a shadow of a doubt) they would shame me even more, ridicule me, not like me, think less of me, pity me, and the worst: make fun of me.
Daniel and I have shared a most bizarre and wonderful life together. We live to give and love people. We speak to our family daily and see them often. We adore our friends that have crossed our paths, and our times together. We have enjoyed the most sacred moments together and have three beautiful, beautiful children which I cannot begin to comprehend why we were blessed with them. Just because. Grace.
From days of Hair bands, goth, grunge and garage band days, to days of leading worship in church, Daniel and I have witnessed a lot happen within our lives. We have been honest with each other and gone through the biggest break-up dilemmas and came out on the other end victorious. From jobs to debt, from fun trips to ugly fights, from raising kids to gaining weight - our life has been what most people may look upon as "normal."
Immigration, green cards, citizenship and passports - bah! What's that? I have managed to create an American life for me and my new family. But that is not how the story was written...
In 1990 we began dating, and have not stopped since. Daniel loved me most yet cared the least about my immigration status. I felt safe around him and knew he would protect me. He and his family are so proud to be Americans that I never had the nerve to share my history with them. They thought I was legal since I had a social security number, driver's license, and did everything according to the rules. I just never pursued my residency. I never even told Dan before we got married. I was so done with it all and wanted to forget about it and go on with my life.
The last time I spent a day at the immigration office was in the nineties sometime. My mom took my sister and I and we went to see if we could somehow reopen our case and get somewhere. Until now, my dad has fought on his own and been denied over and over that at best we were granted work authorization cards. He never took a lawyer, and trying to accomplish anything concerning immigration without legal council is almost impossible. While in the San Antonio office that day, an officer told me that the only way for me to stay here is to get my husband to petition for me. My case would be separated from my family and I would face the new challenges on my own (with Daniel really, but I was embarrassed to tell him). I was scared to tell Dan and get him involved in all of this mess and at the same time worried what would happen to my family. It seemed like I would get to stay but they would get deported, and I figured we are all in this together. Plus, I was lazy to work on my status and angry at my parents who did not finish it for us. I felt like it was not my responsibility and wanted to wait it out to see what happens, to make them somehow pay for bringing us here like this. Much resentment and anger towards our parents fueled my attitude of indifference.
The officer told us that day to just live as we have been living, and go on with life as we have. So, with nothing solved and not being any further to a resolve, the three Mitic ladies left the San Antonio office that day hopeless. There was such a stronghold on me involving anyone else and our immigration "secret." I had to protect us by not telling anyone about our situation, that it was like Gollum's "my precious." A dark, dark secret - except - when I look back now after having daughters of my own as my sis and I were, - I just want to hold me. This secret was shame, resentment, insecurity, and all the nasty things we place on ourselves when most circumstances were far beyond our control. I see this now a lot with women who have been abused as children, teens, or even adults. They hold a secret and have shame for something someone else did and created in their lives. I felt if I told anyone (EVEN my own husband who I know loves me beyond a shadow of a doubt) they would shame me even more, ridicule me, not like me, think less of me, pity me, and the worst: make fun of me.
Daniel and I have shared a most bizarre and wonderful life together. We live to give and love people. We speak to our family daily and see them often. We adore our friends that have crossed our paths, and our times together. We have enjoyed the most sacred moments together and have three beautiful, beautiful children which I cannot begin to comprehend why we were blessed with them. Just because. Grace.
From days of Hair bands, goth, grunge and garage band days, to days of leading worship in church, Daniel and I have witnessed a lot happen within our lives. We have been honest with each other and gone through the biggest break-up dilemmas and came out on the other end victorious. From jobs to debt, from fun trips to ugly fights, from raising kids to gaining weight - our life has been what most people may look upon as "normal."
Immigration, green cards, citizenship and passports - bah! What's that? I have managed to create an American life for me and my new family. But that is not how the story was written...
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